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I’ve been writing about indifference, a concept developed by Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits. He defined indifference as being detached enough from things, people, or experiences to be able either to take them up or to leave them aside, depending on whether they help us to “to praise,
How does it help confrontations with kids
We keep our 13-year-old granddaughter one night a week, and as we were leaving for school the next morning a few months ago, I noticed her phone lying off by itself, not with her things. So I picked it up and put it with the stuff she was packing up. She said, rather snippily, “GrandBob, I’ve got it.” So I picked it up and put it down back where it was without saying anything. But my wife could tell I was miffed, and she asked our granddaughter to apologize.
As I reflected on the incident (which seems really minor as I write it here!), my anger was unnecessary. I could have applied indifference to the situation. Why should I care if she doesn’t want my help? Why should I react negatively if she chooses not to say, “Thanks, GrandBob, for watching out for me.”
Indifference could help deflect anger in a lot of situations, couldn’t it? It’s OK if that driver cuts me off, even if he makes the light and I don’t. If it takes a minute longer to get somewhere, so what? Could indifference have helped the father who got angry the first time his 14-year-old son beat him at tennis? What about the guy who berates himself after every golf shot?
Indifference might help us implement James 1.19, 20