I had been reading the other day about helping churches develop a “disciple-making culture” when I read this verse in Ephesians 6:

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6.4, ESV)

“The discipline and instruction of the Lord:” what is that? I think it’s a culture of discipline. As I observe families with children, I see three types with respect to discipline:

• There are those families where the parents make no attempt at all to discipline their children. They just let them run amok. By the way, I’ve seen such “children” in their 30s, and they don’t “grow out of it.” They are adults running amok.
• There are families who would say they discipline their children, but what they mean is, when the children get out of line, they yell at them. I think this is probably better than the first type, but not much.
• Then there are families who create a culture of discipline. Children are trained to behave in certain ways. There’s not as much need for yelling when the kids cross a line – they don’t cross the line.

The best teachers and coaches train folks how to perform, whether it’s an athletic or musical skill. These teachers and coaches don’t sit back and wait for people to mess up and then yell at them. They train them to do it right and correct them, showing them how to do it right. Isn’t that what scripture says about itself?

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable

• for teaching,
• for reproof,
• for correction, and
• for training in righteousness. (2 Timothy 3.16, ESV, bulleted for clarity)

Out of the four functions of the Word, only one is “reproof,” or “rebuke.” The other three are positive, helping us reach a place where there is less need for “rebuke.” This, I believe, is “the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”

We have a family two doors up from us with six children ranging in age from 15 to 6. When they first interviewed with June for possible piano lessons, all six walked in with big smiles, looked June in the eye, and said something like, “Good afternoon, Mrs. Ewell, it’s nice to meet you.” When I went up there one day to recruit a few of them to finish a raking job for me, you’d think I’d just offered to take them out for ice cream. They couldn’t get down here fast enough, and they stayed on task until it was done.

A culture of discipline. It’s a joy to behold.

Discipline your children; you’ll be glad you did— they’ll turn out delightful to live with. (Proverbs 29.17, MSG)