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I’ve been writing about indifference, a concept developed by Ignatius of Loyola, founder of the Jesuits. He defined indifference as being detached enough from things, people, or experiences to be able either to take them up or to leave them aside, depending on whether they help us to “to praise,
I wish I had learned this concept of indifference (my wife likes to call it holy indifference to distinguish from an I don’t care attitude) way earlier in life.
For example, I like to watch sports. Several blogs about my alma mater Clemson’s winning the national championship confirms that, doesn’t it? And in the past watching this week’s “game of the year” often caused conflict. “I have decided to watch this game! Don’t bother me.” The fact that a baby might need tending to or that June and I might be better served doing something else didn’t occur to me.
I could have used some indifference. Yes, I would like to watch the game; however, the game will go on whether I watch it or not. For that matter, my life will go on whether I watch the game or not. I knew a man who didn’t miss an Auburn football game, home or away, for more than 20 years. I wonder what the cost to his family was. Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer is a book about rabid college football fans. It opens with the story of a couple who didn’t attend their daughter’s wedding because it conflicted with the Alabama-Tennessee game. Seriously?
Sometimes it’s a matter of getting our priorities straight. Other times it’s about preference versus principle (and most of the time it’s preference). I know a couple whose teenage daughter doesn’t like the church the family attends because to her it’s “too big and too loud.” The father is learning some valuable principles in child-rearing, which emphasize listening and not being over-controlling as the kids get older. So he has chosen not to make an issue out of this situation. The church is their preference, but they understand that forcing their daughter to go will do nothing but damage the relationship. I think he’s wise to practice indifference to their choice of church and look around for an alternative.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5.25, NIV)
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Ephesians 6.4, NIV)