Here’s one more lesson from the John 2 story of Jesus changing the water to wine. It’s a possible application, one that I wouldn’t fight to the death for, but it made sense in a discussion I had recently had with a friend who feels responsible for the moral behavior of his adult grandchildren. It’s not the first such conversation I’ve had with people I respect on what to do about grandchildren, say, living with someone out of wedlock.

It’s not a hypothetical: we and many of our friends have family members not living as we think Jesus would have them live. June and I have chosen to live by principles:

• Our responsibility is to love them where they are and as they are.
• They don’t work for us!
• I am not responsible to God for others’ behavior.

It’s this last that I believe the water to wine story speaks to. My friend mentioned in the first paragraph didn’t want to fund hotel rooms for a family reunion that would be occupied by grandchildren “shacking up.” He said, “Am I not responsible, especially if it’s my money?”

I can’t dictate to others what to do (he doesn’t work for me either!), but I did notice that Jesus made A LOT of wine at that wedding. Probably more than they needed. And if it was a big wedding party, and people then are anything like people now, isn’t it possible that someone got drunk on Jesus’ wine? 

To apply my friend’s logic, Jesus would have said, “I’d like to help you, but I can’t be a party to someone’s abusing alcohol.” To put it into modern-day terms, “I’d like to help you since you’ve gone over budget, but I can’t, you see. I can’t use my money that way.” So I get to save money and attempt to make myself look holy in the process.

When my personal purity becomes an excuse not to help someone, I think I’m on the wrong track. Jesus was clear on that in the story of the Good Samaritan. And, I think, indirectly, in his being willing to make wine for a wedding.

So then each of us shall give account of himself to God. (Romans 14.12, NKJV)

[The conclusion of the story of the Good Samaritan: Jesus asked, ] “What do you think? Which of the three became a neighbor to the man attacked by robbers?” “The one who treated him kindly,” the religion scholar responded. Jesus said, “Go and do the same.” (Luke 10.36, 37, MSG)